I follow a therapist on TikTok.

Believe it or not, tiktok has an abundant amount of videos that are filled with content that can be beneficial in our everyday lives. Who knew I could learn so many wonderful things from an app that is mainly viewed as being for teenagers who do silly dances and challenges? 

Anyway, this therapist said something that I found beneficial to me in the most amazing way. 

And it’s simple.   

Right now I have absolutely no motivation to do anything. For whatever reason I have this visitor in my head named anxiety and depression that challenges me in my day to day life. So when Miss therapist said this in her video, I was like…

“Well holy shitballs isn’t that somethin!”   

The magical words she said to me through my little phone screen were: 

Action precedes motivation. 

Wait come again, what did you say? I watched the video 4 times to let it really sink in. 

Then I was like… “Well, duh. I knew that!”

Action precedes motivation

not the other way around. 

On my rough days I usually lay in bed, or sit in my chair in front of the TV wishing I had the motivation to do something. Anything. During my episodes I lose interest in nearly everything that brings me joy. 

I don’t want to go for a walk outside, I just can’t seem to find the motivation to get up and have the desire to do anything but lay here being sad, wishing I wanted to

go on an adventure,

or clean the bathroom,

or play a game with my child,

or put away the laundry that is on my bed.  

The key to motivation isn’t about waiting for it to come.

The key to motivation is realizing that it most likely will not make an appearance unless I put my body in motion. 

If I waited to do anything until I felt like it, I wouldn’t do anything. When I am depressed, I’m not going to feel like doing anything at all to be completely honest.  

So if action precedes motivation what can I do to feel like doing something? 

Just Do It ….. Like Nike says.

Yes, it is easier said than done and it might take a great deal of determination and courage. 

I know without a doubt in my mind that nature is my medicine and once I get out there and put my feet in the dirt, I will feel relief. I just need to find that little bit of courage to make a 10% shift and move my body. 

Just Move.

 At times I have to “force” myself to do something I don’t want to do because I know that the payoff in the end is going to far outweigh the lack of desire to get myself moving. 

Action leads to motivation which leads to more motivation.

Break it down.

Oftentimes I don’t want to do something because the task ahead of me looks daunting.

If I feel like my house needs to be cleaned I think about all the tasks that need to be done, I get overwhelmed and don’t do any of it, which leads to me having negative self talk, which exacerbates my anxiety. 

I learned that if I look at the whole big picture most likely I’m not going to do it at all. So I try to look at one task at a time. Start with the least horrible task, (not laundry, I loathe laundry) most of the time once I get that one little task done, I feel motivated enough to tackle one more and on and on.

Look at one tree at a time, not the whole entire forest. 

Make it simple 

When I was writing my book I wrote every single day for a year and half, then my son got attacked by a pit bull and I spiraled down a deep dark hole and didn’t write for a whole entire year. 

One day after a year had passed and I no longer wanted to beat myself up about abandoning my book, it was then that I decided I was going to sit down and write for at least 10 minutes just to see what would happen. 

I didn’t want to, but I knew that if I didn’t I would feel worse. The alternative was something I no longer wanted to live with. 

Guess what, that 10 minutes turned into an hour. I continued to commit to write for at least 10 minutes each day, even if what I wrote wasn’t super awesome. This one simple push led to me finishing 18 more chapters in just three months. 

I guess deep down inside I always knew that I wasn’t ever going to feel like it.

The trick was to do it until I did feel like it. 

When she explained this concept to me in a short 60 second video it lit a fire inside of me that has been dwindling for a good 3 months now.

It’s 1:30 on my day off, when I get done with this writing I plan on putting on my shoes and taking my dog for a little hike. Do I want to sit here cuddled up in my blanket in my warm house with my wife?

Absolutely. 

However, I know that once I get out there with the wind on my face and the snow under my shoes watching miss Willow (my adorable golden labradoodle) run back and forth in the snow, at the foot of the beautiful mountains, I will be motivated to tackle more tasks I have been putting off for far too long. 

Be gentle with yourself. 

Not every single day HAS to be productive. Lazy days are good too. However, if I am sitting on the couch wishing to have the desire to do something…. I realize now that I just need to get up and move my body one little motion at a time and maybe just maybe motivation will follow. 

It’s worth a try right? 

What do I possibly have to lose?

If I don’t light at least one match, how am I ever going to start a magnificent fire?

With love, 

*Update – 

I did it! I got out there and it turned out to be the most amazing day. 

I wrote this post a week ago, and since last week I have forced myself on multiple occasions to do something that I saw as hard or stressful. I have said yes to my boys when I wanted to say no because I just didn’t feel like it and have felt better mentally because of this. 

I’m not perfect and some days my lack of motivation wins over my cognitive thinking.

But hey, even small victories are something to celebrate!